Longtime Oklahoma State Philanthropist T. Boone Pickens tragically died today at 91 years of age. The Oklahoma/Texas bred American Capitalist is most known for lobbying for the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act, as well as growing one of the largest independent oil companies in the world in the 80’s. He had a net worth of $500 million.
Surprisingly, amongst other specifics in his Will, he peculiarly left $30 to head football coach Mike Gundy to “get a god damned haircut”.
“I’ve begged him for years to cut that god forsaken mullet off, maybe now as my dying wish he’ll take it more seriously,” said Pickens in his will.
“Gosh I’m honored that Mr. Pickens would name me in his will, but gawdangit my mullet helps too damn much in ‘cruitin”, said Gundy.
“I’m a man, I’m 50! How am I supposed to have business in the front, without the party in the back?”
Sources say Gundy has been going around Stillwater drowning his sorrows with a bottle at several local bars, riding mechanical bulls, and desperately searching for a reason to go against Picken’s wishes for him to head over to Sports Clips and trim his sacred locks.
Other notable things left behind in Picken’s will include:
- Enough oil to power OSU athletic facilities for another century
- Permission to use his now vacant mansion as a recruiting tool
- Step by step instructions to “get rid of” Lincoln Riley
Pickens leaves behind a legacy rich in Cowboy Orange, He donated over $500 million to Oklahoma State University in his lifetime.
