BY: SS
This Friday, HEFTY will roll out their newest line of trash cans. This year's upgraded model not only includes the latest in trash receptacle technology, but also comes with a built-in New England Patriots fan, complete with an empty can of Bud Light AND a Boston accent! Here’s what satisfied customers are saying:
Julie A. - Stay at home Mom
“As a busy mother, I sometimes forget how many Super Bowl Rings Tom Brady has... So it’s nice to have a foul mouthed Bostonian in my kitchen to remind me every ten seconds.”
Dan L. - Lackluster Parent
“It’s great to not be the most hated person in the house.”
Megan W. - Interior Designer
“There’s just nothing that ties a kitchen together quite like a drunk, middle-aged man with a beer belly telling you to suck Bill Belichek’s dick.”
Mark W. - Ripped Smug Bostonian Actor
“I love knowing that I’ve got a good buddy waiting to pump me up for the 4am Club when I’m tossing out my morning egg whites and protein shakes. He’s such trash, I fucking love that guy!”
Adam L. - Bills fan
“It’s made me genuinely consider suicide.”
Josh H. - Average guy
“This thing is actually incredibly terrifying. PLEASE call the police.”
