Oct 24, 2019

Bengals Look To Acquire A Win Via Trade Before Deadline

In a week chock full of blockbuster trades, the lifeless Bengals are rumored to be making a transaction that far surpasses the trades of Jalen Ramsey, Muhammed Sanu and Emmanuel Sanders. On Tuesday, Cincinnati Bengals Head Coach Zac Taylor, announced plans to acquire a win before the trade deadline. By doing this, the Bengals hope to alleviate the pain of their 0-7 start while still remaining the laughing stock of the NFL.

Analysts suspect that the Bengals will deal quarterback Andy Dalton to the Ravens in exchange for a week 9 victory against their division rival. Curious members of the media pressed Coach Taylor after his unprecedented decision was made public.

“We made the choice to pawn off Andy because he hasn’t really done anything for us all year and I figured we’d probably be better off without a quarterback going forward.”

When asked about his decision to negotiate with a bitter rival, Taylor did not hold back.

“The Ravens expressed interest in Andy because of his on-field awareness. He knows exactly where the Gatorade is on the sidelines and he will play a pivotal role in keeping Lamar Jackson hydrated while he runs circles around our defense.”

Taylor expects the trade to be finalized within days and remains confident in his decision to part ways with the underperforming ginger.

“If football teams were sex-positions, we would be missionary, and the way I see it this was the only logical solution to our problem.”